World's Smallest Car?

It seems there's an endless addition of items for the Guinness  Book of  Records. Just for the record, one can think of just about anything and get it published for all the world to see.

I am pasting here the write up and a photo of Perry Watkins' world's smallest car ever.

Perry Watkins‘ “Wind up” mini car was listed in Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s smallest car with license to drive on public streets.

The mini car was reported to have a measurement of 41 inches high, 51 inches long and 26 inches wide.

According to several news sites, Perry Watkinsonly used a coin-operated children’s ride. He repainted the body and repurposed a chassis from a Shanghai Shenke quad bike. The rear tiresand wheels are from a Honda Monkey motorcyle while the front wheels were custom-made.

The world’s smallest car has security belts and can drive 60 kph.

Reports said that the mini car will be shown at the motor show in Essen, Germany startingNovember 27, 2010 until December 5, 2010.

Pacquiao off to US for training

Pound-for-pound boxing king Rep. Manny Pacquiao (left), signs autographs prior to his departure for the United States, Saturday night, at the NAIA Terminal 2. The boxing champion will continue his training in the US for his fight against Mexican Antonio Margarito on November 13, 2010, in Houston, Texas. (Photo by POL BRIANA JR.)

http://www.mb.com.ph/

Manny Pacquiao vs Antonio Margarito will surely be another big world event come November 13  in Houston.

250 Lao Kip= 1 Thai Baht

So what can currency exchange do to a miser in Thailand like me when I go to Laos? A millionnaire! Kip millionnaire, that is.  Since 1 Thai Baht = 250 Laos Kip, I have 1,500,000 kip in my pocket. It's nice for me to know that I have the money....in millions but I pay my hotel room for 75,000 kip for one night!

Zedonk or Donkra?

What do people want to see now? Weird animals?
Here is one that can attract attention. An unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra that can be called "zedonk" or "donkra".
Maybe the next thing that stupid people will do is to cross human with monkeys so they will have "mankeys". Their questions on the missing link might be well explained by their making of "mankeys" when it happens.

Attribution: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/09/23/what.is.zedonk/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

School Lunch and Smart Kids

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 

"Take only ONE. God is watching." 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. 

___________________________

God is busy watching the apples.

The Whale Did Eat Jonah

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. 

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. 

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". 

The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" 

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him". 
______________________________________
The student is sure that the teacher is going to hell.

Laws Fortgotten

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. 

Law of Mechanical Repair: after your hands become coated with grease, yr nose will begin to itch. 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will ! 

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last. 

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Attribution: http://www.funzug.com/index.php/humor/laws-which-newton-forgot-to-state.html

A Re-invented Culture

News reporter returned from Kabul (in Afghanistan) in 2000, reported the strange ways of the people – especially women walking several steps behind men.Same reporter returned from Kabul in 2009, reported women still walked several steps behind men. Reporter confronted woman about this custom. Woman looked at reporter and shouted – LAND MINES !!! LAND MINES!!!
(BEHIND EVERY MAN THERE IS A WISE WOMAN, so they say)

posted by David on http://hsudarren.wordpress.com/homour/#comment-72634

Smile Defined

I like this definition of smile. The definition is apparently not by the Oxford's but by a mathematician.

Smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

The New Student

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. 

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?" 

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. 

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy. 

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?'" 

Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." 

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." 

As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese." 

"Who said that?" she demanded. 

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982, my classmate he," he said. 

Haiku by Koko (1)

some lazy students
chatting, drooling, and playing
-the teacher is mad

Job Applicant

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replied, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yes, but you started it."

_______________

The lesson here might be: Do not overstate expectations on salaries when applying for a job.

Solarve Bus

The "Solarve Bus" is Japan's solar powered bus developed by Sanyo and Ryobi is sure to be the world's futuristic bus that is environment-friendly.

The question is: Can every country afford to have one so that its citizens will be enjoying the cleaner air and the convenience that it can offer? Maybe this clean bus is good only for the developed nations to enjoy.

Photo Attribution: http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/solarve-bus-get-your-motor-running-sanyos-solar-powered-bus-236370?hpt=Mid

America's Worst Colleges?

If we have the best colleges, maybe we can also have the worst colleges. In the case of the U.S., there are at least 10 Worst Colleges ranked and posted in the Washington Post.

See the story at  http://voices.washingtonpost.com/class-struggle/2010/08/americas_worst_colleges.html?hpid=sec-education

_______________________

So, whose standards are we following? What are the criteria involved in the ranking?

The rate of graduates as a criterion doesn't justify the ranking. What about the drop-out rate, the administration factor, etc, etc....?

Mechanic vs. Heart Surgeon

Heart Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it while it's running."

________________

Sometimes, it takes some lazy thinking before whining....);

Irony Picture 1

Life is full  of ironies. This is just one photo which I find rather funny.

Then and Now (1)

Here is an anecdote about a grandpa talking about his good old days. Read on.....

The Good Old Days

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular...

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, and a magazine, some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

Then Grandpa said sadly ..."You can't DO that any more...they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look......" 

Philippine's S.W.A.T. Team

It must be a horrible experience for the survivors of the tourist bus hostage drama in Manila days ago.
http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/breakingnews/breakingnews/view/20100825-288710/4-SWAT-members-relieved-over-hostage-crisis   report:

MANILA, Philippines—(UPDATE 2) Four members of the Special Weapons and Tactics team were relieved from their posts following the botched rescue operations during a hostage-taking incident Monday, a spokesman for the Philippine National Police said Wednesday.

"Pending the results of the investigation, they have been administratively relieved from their positions," Senior Superintendent Agrimero Cruz told reporters.

Cruz identified the four as Chief Inspector Santiago Pascual, Senior Police Officer 4 Reynaldo Antonio, SPO3 Alfonso Gameng, SPO2 Bernardo Espinosa.

Cruz said there would be an examination of the bullets found at the scene of the bloodbath at the Quirino Grandstand in Manila where nine people – eight foreign tourists and hostage-taker Senior Inspector Rolando Mendoza – died.

Eight of the hostages were killed and police admitted to tactical and operational blunders in handling the situation.

____________

If the rescue team  really committed the mistake, then it has to be renamed: SWAT- "Sorry We Are not Trained".

Amazing Liu Wei on the Piano

China's Liu Wei chose to live an outstanding life even without his hands. He proved his piano teacher wrong to have said that  he would never succeed.
His rendition of "Mariage d'Amour" on the piano with his toes can amaze a viewer.

See him at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVYMBOQxte8&feature=player_embedded

Skateboarding Priest?

And who says priests are sluggish movers? It is a mindset among Christians that these holy people are not to be seen enjoying what the common people do, skateboarding, for example. For one thing, skateboarding is a good exercise (though I cannot do myself).

See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvPVz8jzp5U

Old Enough To Fly

Only babies - as in babies cannot book plane tickets this time. Minors unaccompanied by their parents or adults to travel by plane can just get away all by themselves, especially when the selling agency wants the money. Of course, there should have been questions why minors are travelling at their own. What about the security in the airport? There seems to be something amiss in this regard.

When the three kids (aged 15, 13, and 11) were able to reach Nashville from Jacksonville by plane, their parents were stunned and scared upon knowing the kids' adventure.

See the story at http://www.mb.com.ph/node/272342/3-kid

Holiday in Chanthaburi

Chanthaburi (Moon city) is such a nice place in the northeast of Thailand. There, Rissa and I went for Mothers' Day holiday on August 11-13. We enjoyed every second of our trip though it was so tiring. We took some pictures which we wanted to share.

A Buddhist Temple in Chanthaburi

Rissa @ King Taksin Park

Thais believe that rabbits inhabit the moon. Since Chanthaburi means "Moon City, rabbits dominate the logos of official boards aside from the abundance of fruits as symbol of the city. Chanthaburi also boasts of its worldwide re-known production of fruits, especially durian. The city is also known as the "Gem Center" in the region.

Even the lamppost carries a rabbit that seems to enjoy its unlikely place.

The Church of Our Immaculate Conception

Manipulated Rules of court

Judge to the court, at the start of a case: "I have to declare an interest in this case. Last week, the plaintiff sent me a check for $10,000 to find in his favor. 

Two days later, I received $20,000 from the defendant to find in his favor. 

I have therefore sent $10,000 back to the defendant and can try the case without bias."

Philippine Numbers

Interestingly,  there is something special about statistics in the Philippines concerning education and the government. I would rather take the numbers stated here as belonging to "Philippines' Sex Number System" for the time being.  I would like to add another number here: 


92 million + 11 million = 103 million: the  estimated population of the Philippines who were products of intelligent sex. The 92 million people are loyalists that's why they are in the Philippines while the other 11 million Filipinos live overseas. I belong to the latter group.
__________________
Numbers 

Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 11:46:00 07/17/2010

Filed Under: Health, Education

80: Total number of elementary public schools in the country where sex education modules were pilot tested when classes opened last June 15. The project of the United Nations Fund for Population Activities, called “Institutionalizing Adolescent Reproductive Health through Lifeskills-Based Education,” was pilot-tested in Grades 5 and 6 classes in Olongapo City, Ifugao, Mountain Province, Masbate, Bohol, Eastern Samar, Maguindanao, Lanao del Sur, Sulu, Tawi-Tawi and Sultan Kudarat.


79: Number of public high schools that participated in the sex ed pilot testing


29: Number of schools in which the Education department and the United Nations Children’s Fund launched in March a program designed to raise awareness among students on the importance of abstinence, making the right decisions, and the consequences of “sexual experience either by choice or due to pressure from peer groups”


5: The appropriate starting age for children to receive mandatory sexuality education, according to a report by the United Nations Economic, Social and Cultural Organization. The 98-page report, called “International Guidelines for Sexuality Education,” was released in 2009 and offers students 5 to 18 years old a “universal lesson plan” that includes an “informed approach to effective sex and relationships” as well as HIV education.


65: Estimated number of representatives in the incoming 15th Congress who are in favor of passing the Reproductive Health bill, according to Ramon San Pascual of the Philippine Legislators Committee on Population and Development last May. The RH bill calls for sex education in all schools, among others.


2 out of 3: Proportion of women in the Philippines who did not know that the HIV/AIDS virus cannot be transmitted by sharing food with an HIV-positive person, nor through mosquito bites, according to the 2008 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) conducted by the National Statistics Office among women 15 to 49 years old.


2 out of 5: Proportion of women from the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) who had never heard of AIDS, according to the same study.


20 to 30: Estimated percentage of condom use among groups at risk of HIV infection (e.g. sex workers) in the Philippines, according to a study by the National Center in HIV Epidemiology and Clinical Research at the University of New South Wales in Sydney. According to the study published in the Journal of the International AIDS Society, RP has the lowest rate of condom use in Asia.


30 to 35: Estimated percentage of overseas Filipino workers among the total number of reported HIV cases in the country, according to the same study.


700: Number of HIV cases recorded in the country during the first five months of 2010, according to the Department of Health.


31: Percentage of births that were unplanned among women aged 15 to 19, according to the 2008 NDHS.


26: Percentage of Filipinos aged 15 to 25 who have experienced premarital sex, according to the 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study by the University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI) and the Demographic Research and Development Foundation.


Compiled by Schatzi Quodala, Inquirer Research
Sources: PDI Archives, foxnews.com, United Nations, UNESCO


Attribution:  http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/sim/sim/view/20100717-281645/Numbers
                     http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=philippine+population
                     Both  retrieved on July 20, 2010

Refudiate: New Entry in the English Language

It was born out of Sarah Palin's tweeter post about the mosque being built in New York City that "peaceful muslims should "refudiate." When Palin found her quote the subject of scoffs in the tweeter community, she deleted it and replaced "refute...." instead. According to her, the word refudiate means to "misunderestimate" or "wee-weed up."  For some viewers, Palin must have meant "repudiate" because the context that her message wanted to convey was for the Muslims to reject the validity of the mosque being controversial in New York.


Not to be outdone, she compared herself with Shakespeare when she said: "English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words, too. Got to celebrate it."


The question is: Who would like to use the new word?


See  http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/07/palin-invents-word-compares-he.html

The Wisest of the Jailbirds

It only takes some lazy thinking to get even with the jail guards. Read on......

Jail Mail

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

from arcamax

Funny Funeral

Funeral Comments

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

from arcamax

Which Bone Are You?

Organization Body

The body of any organization has four bones. Which bones do you belong to?


1. Wish bones are those who spend all their time wishing someone else will do all the work;


2. Jaw Bones are people who do all the talking and very little else;


3. Knuckle Bones are those who knock everything that everybody else tries to do;


4. Back Bones are the true workers who get under the load and do all the heavy jobs.

From Arcamax

Is chocolate really that bad?

It's  a known fact that chocolates are fattening and  not good for the health. But a recent research tells us otherwise. No wonder this black thing was considered "food for the gods" in ancient time. It must have had beneficial effects that the production of chocolate bars or brews were just for the royals.

See http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/sim/sim/view/20100710-280273/The-Seven-Blessings-of-Chocolate

Take Cat Naps

Power Naps cannot be avoided in the office. See the excusable excuses below:

Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping In Your Cubicle

1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."


2. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."


3. "I was working smarter-not harder."


4. "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."


5. "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"


6. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"


7. "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."


8. "I was trying to remember where that difficult "Z" Key was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or at least my forehead."


9. "I'm in the management training program."


10. "I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."


11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"


12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"


13. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."


14. "Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine is broken..."


15. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."


16. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"


17. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"


18. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."


19. "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."


20. "Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day." 

From:

ArcaMax Jokes ezines@arcamax.com

What's UP?

Pondering UP

Read until the end......you'll laugh....

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP , and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble,
line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look UP the word UP in the dictionary.. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but ifyou don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now ........my time is UP !

Oh.....one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U P !

Did that one crack you UP ?

Don't screw UP . Send this on to everyone you
look UP in your address
book..or not...it's UP to you.

Don't forget when you're angry at someone it's Up Yours!!!!!

Now, I'll shut UP.

Attribution: http://www.blogster.com/mamakat/pondering-up#comment-ycz4