Another bites the dust!

Why read when you have that heavy kind of heart?  What a shame!!!

Heart Surgeon vs. Mechanic

A heart surgeon and a mechanic  may have one thing in common - they both repair. But there's really a big difference  between their jobs......

Jerry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Samuel Kaiser, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager.

Jerry, who was somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey Kaiser. Is dat you? Come over here a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Jerry was working on the car. Jerry, in a loud voice that all could hear, said argumentatively, "So Mr. fancy doctor, look at this work. I too, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I'm finished, this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"

Dr. Kaiser, very embarrassed, shook his head and replied in a soft voice, "Try doing your work with the engine running."

A Thought on Aging

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. 

Boxers "Off The Ring"?

Floyd Mayweather Jr.  has gone weary and tired  in the boxing ring. Not that he is retiring but he wants a fight outside the ring. Street fighting, he cannot  be into. He wants the game in court. Or, rather, he has to face Manny Pacquiao in court for his badmouthing.  This means that Mayweather must have realized he cannot do it with his knuckles so he has to fight with his mouth. What a shame!  See http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/infotech/view/20110323-327097/Pacquiao-to-battle-Mayweatherin-court

And Manny Pacquiao, being the true champion, is not into "mouth-to-mouth" because all the sensible people around him believe he is into "pound-for-pound".

World's Smallest Car?

It seems there's an endless addition of items for the Guinness  Book of  Records. Just for the record, one can think of just about anything and get it published for all the world to see.

I am pasting here the write up and a photo of Perry Watkins' world's smallest car ever.

Perry Watkins‘ “Wind up” mini car was listed in Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s smallest car with license to drive on public streets.

The mini car was reported to have a measurement of 41 inches high, 51 inches long and 26 inches wide.

According to several news sites, Perry Watkinsonly used a coin-operated children’s ride. He repainted the body and repurposed a chassis from a Shanghai Shenke quad bike. The rear tiresand wheels are from a Honda Monkey motorcyle while the front wheels were custom-made.

The world’s smallest car has security belts and can drive 60 kph.

Reports said that the mini car will be shown at the motor show in Essen, Germany startingNovember 27, 2010 until December 5, 2010.

Pacquiao off to US for training

Pound-for-pound boxing king Rep. Manny Pacquiao (left), signs autographs prior to his departure for the United States, Saturday night, at the NAIA Terminal 2. The boxing champion will continue his training in the US for his fight against Mexican Antonio Margarito on November 13, 2010, in Houston, Texas. (Photo by POL BRIANA JR.)

http://www.mb.com.ph/

Manny Pacquiao vs Antonio Margarito will surely be another big world event come November 13  in Houston.

250 Lao Kip= 1 Thai Baht

So what can currency exchange do to a miser in Thailand like me when I go to Laos? A millionnaire! Kip millionnaire, that is.  Since 1 Thai Baht = 250 Laos Kip, I have 1,500,000 kip in my pocket. It's nice for me to know that I have the money....in millions but I pay my hotel room for 75,000 kip for one night!

Zedonk or Donkra?

What do people want to see now? Weird animals?
Here is one that can attract attention. An unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra that can be called "zedonk" or "donkra".
Maybe the next thing that stupid people will do is to cross human with monkeys so they will have "mankeys". Their questions on the missing link might be well explained by their making of "mankeys" when it happens.

Attribution: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/09/23/what.is.zedonk/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

School Lunch and Smart Kids

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 

"Take only ONE. God is watching." 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. 

___________________________

God is busy watching the apples.

The Whale Did Eat Jonah

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. 

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. 

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". 

The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" 

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him". 
______________________________________
The student is sure that the teacher is going to hell.

Laws Fortgotten

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. 

Law of Mechanical Repair: after your hands become coated with grease, yr nose will begin to itch. 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will ! 

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last. 

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Attribution: http://www.funzug.com/index.php/humor/laws-which-newton-forgot-to-state.html

A Re-invented Culture

News reporter returned from Kabul (in Afghanistan) in 2000, reported the strange ways of the people – especially women walking several steps behind men.Same reporter returned from Kabul in 2009, reported women still walked several steps behind men. Reporter confronted woman about this custom. Woman looked at reporter and shouted – LAND MINES !!! LAND MINES!!!
(BEHIND EVERY MAN THERE IS A WISE WOMAN, so they say)

posted by David on http://hsudarren.wordpress.com/homour/#comment-72634

Smile Defined

I like this definition of smile. The definition is apparently not by the Oxford's but by a mathematician.

Smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

The New Student

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. 

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?" 

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. 

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy. 

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?'" 

Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." 

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." 

As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese." 

"Who said that?" she demanded. 

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982, my classmate he," he said. 

Haiku by Koko (1)

some lazy students
chatting, drooling, and playing
-the teacher is mad

Job Applicant

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replied, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yes, but you started it."

_______________

The lesson here might be: Do not overstate expectations on salaries when applying for a job.

Solarve Bus

The "Solarve Bus" is Japan's solar powered bus developed by Sanyo and Ryobi is sure to be the world's futuristic bus that is environment-friendly.

The question is: Can every country afford to have one so that its citizens will be enjoying the cleaner air and the convenience that it can offer? Maybe this clean bus is good only for the developed nations to enjoy.

Photo Attribution: http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/life/solarve-bus-get-your-motor-running-sanyos-solar-powered-bus-236370?hpt=Mid

America's Worst Colleges?

If we have the best colleges, maybe we can also have the worst colleges. In the case of the U.S., there are at least 10 Worst Colleges ranked and posted in the Washington Post.

See the story at  http://voices.washingtonpost.com/class-struggle/2010/08/americas_worst_colleges.html?hpid=sec-education

_______________________

So, whose standards are we following? What are the criteria involved in the ranking?

The rate of graduates as a criterion doesn't justify the ranking. What about the drop-out rate, the administration factor, etc, etc....?

Mechanic vs. Heart Surgeon

Heart Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it while it's running."

________________

Sometimes, it takes some lazy thinking before whining....);

Irony Picture 1

Life is full  of ironies. This is just one photo which I find rather funny.