Zedonk or Donkra?

What do people want to see now? Weird animals?
Here is one that can attract attention. An unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra that can be called "zedonk" or "donkra".
Maybe the next thing that stupid people will do is to cross human with monkeys so they will have "mankeys". Their questions on the missing link might be well explained by their making of "mankeys" when it happens.

Attribution: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/09/23/what.is.zedonk/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

School Lunch and Smart Kids

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 

"Take only ONE. God is watching." 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. 

___________________________

God is busy watching the apples.

The Whale Did Eat Jonah

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. 

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. 

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". 

The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" 

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him". 
______________________________________
The student is sure that the teacher is going to hell.

Laws Fortgotten

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. 

Law of Mechanical Repair: after your hands become coated with grease, yr nose will begin to itch. 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will ! 

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last. 

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Attribution: http://www.funzug.com/index.php/humor/laws-which-newton-forgot-to-state.html

A Re-invented Culture

News reporter returned from Kabul (in Afghanistan) in 2000, reported the strange ways of the people – especially women walking several steps behind men.Same reporter returned from Kabul in 2009, reported women still walked several steps behind men. Reporter confronted woman about this custom. Woman looked at reporter and shouted – LAND MINES !!! LAND MINES!!!
(BEHIND EVERY MAN THERE IS A WISE WOMAN, so they say)

posted by David on http://hsudarren.wordpress.com/homour/#comment-72634

Smile Defined

I like this definition of smile. The definition is apparently not by the Oxford's but by a mathematician.

Smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

The New Student

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. 

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?" 

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. 

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy. 

"Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?'" 

Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." 

The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do." 

As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese." 

"Who said that?" she demanded. 

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982, my classmate he," he said. 

Haiku by Koko (1)

some lazy students
chatting, drooling, and playing
-the teacher is mad